Written by Generation Archives. This is practical advice for any shared family tree, not a legal opinion. We make a private tree, and the same care applies there.

What to record about a living person, and what to leave off a shared tree

Published by Generation Archives on October 25, 2026. Last updated November 5, 2026.

A family tree is full of living people. Children, siblings, and cousins are the reason many of us start one. They are also the people who did not agree to be published. A tree you keep for the family can hold more than a tree that anyone with the link can open. Decide which kind you are making before you type the details.

Worth recording

For a living relative, the useful core is small:

The name they use, and a legal name if it differs
A birth year, or a full date if the family already treats it as known
Where they fit: parents, spouse or partner, and children
A short note in their own words, if they offered one
A photo they are happy to have in the family album

That is enough to show who is who at a reunion twenty years from now. Maiden names and previous surnames matter, including for people who are alive. Nicknames matter too, because that is how the rest of the family searches.

Ask before you add a story about a living person. "Can I put this in the family tree?" takes one sentence. People are often glad to be included and specific about what they want left out.

Leave these off a tree other people can open

Some facts are ordinary inside a household and harmful in a group chat. If more than the people you invited can open the tree, skip:

Full birth dates of children, when a year is enough
Home addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses
Schools, workplaces, and daily routines
Health, adoption details the person has not chosen to share, and anything told to you in confidence
Copies of identity documents, even cropped

A name and a place in the family rarely need a street address beside them. The address belongs in your own contacts, not on a chart a distant cousin can save.

Living people can also be omitted entirely. Some families add children as "private" or leave a count ("two children") until those children are old enough to decide. Either choice is kinder than a complete public profile of a minor.

Private tree, smaller audience

A private tree still is not a diary. Anyone you invite can read what you typed, and they can copy it. Write as if a cousin will read it aloud. That usually means no medical details, no account of a divorce that is not yours to tell, and no joke that only made sense at the time.

If a story is important and sensitive, keep it in a letter stored with one person, and put a single line on the tree: "See the letter held by the family." The tree stays accurate without becoming a file of other people's secrets.

When someone asks to be removed

Take the request. Delete the story, the photo, or the extra facts. A name and a parent link may need to stay so the rest of the chart still makes sense. Talk about that. "I will remove the photo and the birth date, and leave your name as your children's parent" is a clear offer. Do not argue someone into staying fully written up.

Check the share setting before you add the next fact

Before you paste a paragraph, look at who can open the tree. If the answer is "anyone with the link," write less. If the answer is "three siblings," you can write a little more, and you should still ask. The audience changes. A tree that was private last year may have a public link today. Details you were comfortable sharing with a sister are now comfortable with strangers only if you decide that again.

Record the living family with the same care you would want for yourself.

What could actually go wrong

It helps to be specific about the risks, because they are mostly small and ordinary. Few family trees are attacked. Most problems come from careless sharing.

A link travels further than you meant. A tree with a public link can be forwarded, posted to a social page, or indexed. You cannot recall a link once it has gone around.
A relative copies a detail to somewhere else. Anyone who can read a private tree can screenshot it. Invite people you trust, and write accordingly.
Old facts get reused. A mother's maiden name and a birth date are common security questions. A tree that shows both for a living person gives away more than you might expect.
A sensitive fact lands in the wrong hands. An adoption, a half-sibling no one had discussed, or a child's custody situation are not ours to publish for anyone else.
A person changes their mind. Someone who was happy to be listed in 2018 may not be now. A tree that can be edited is a tree that can be corrected.

None of these is a reason to avoid recording living relatives. They are reasons to decide in advance what goes where. The family tree privacy guide walks through public, private, and invite-only trees in more detail, and how to share a family tree safely covers the practical steps for passing it to relatives.

A worked example

Here is a fictional case, with invented people, showing three versions of the same entry.

Dana Whitfield is building a tree with her father and her aunt. Her cousin Ellie is eleven. Dana has three options for Ellie's entry.

Fullest version, only for a tree with a handful of close relatives: Eleanor "Ellie" Marsh, born 9 May 2015, Duluth. Daughter of Karen and Tom Marsh. Likes drawing and has a cat named Biscuit. Attends a school Dana knows by name. The school name is a detail that has no business in a tree, even in a small one, and the full birth date is a detail some families keep off even there.

Middle version, for a private tree with extended family invited: Eleanor "Ellie" Marsh, born 2015. Daughter of Karen and Tom Marsh. That is a name, a year, and the connections. It is plenty for a family reunion chart.

Smallest version, for anything others can open: Child of Karen and Tom Marsh, born in the 2010s. Or just a count: "two grandchildren." The relationship is recorded, and the child has not been published.

Dana picks the middle version for her private tree, and plans to ask Ellie's parents before she adds a photo. When Ellie is eighteen, she can decide what she wants added. This is a sensible default for almost any child.

Common mistakes

Assuming a private tree is a secret one. Private means the people you invited, not the people you intended. A tree with fifteen invited relatives has fifteen potential copiers.

Adding a spouse's side without asking. Your wife's family has a say in their own listing. A sentence of explanation usually prevents hurt feelings.

Treating "everyone knows" as consent. A fact being known in a family does not mean the person wants it written down. Divorces, estrangements, illnesses, and name changes are often "known" and still private.

Recording a chosen name that differs from a legal name without checking. For a person who has changed their name, ask which name they want on the tree, and whether the earlier name should appear at all. Do not add a former name that the person has stopped using unless they tell you to.

Forgetting about recently deceased people. A relative who died last year still has living children, a spouse, and siblings who may be reading. The details you add about an illness or the circumstances of a death are about them too.

Reusing a photo of someone else's child. A photo posted to a family tree may be tagged, labelled, and shared. Ask the parent before you upload a picture of their child.

Sharing the whole tree when a branch will do. If one cousin only needs to see your mother's side, think about whether a separate tree for that side is simpler than inviting them into everything. In Generation Archives you can keep several trees under one account.

A short checklist before you share

Who can open this tree right now? Check the setting, not your memory.
Is there a public link switched on? If so, assume anyone might see it.
For each living person, is there a fact on their page that they have not seen?
Are there children with full birth dates, schools, or photographs that their parents have not approved?
Are there details in notes or photo captions that you added months ago and forgot?
Have you told the people you invited what you expect them to do with it?

If you use Generation Archives, trees are private by default and visible only to you and the relatives you invite, and you can give invitees view or edit access. Viewers can read but not change the tree. That helps, but it does not change what a person can copy once they can see something. The private family tree guide explains how sharing works, and the demo shows how a tree looks before you create an account.

Frequently asked questions

Can I list a living person's name?

Yes, in a tree shared with family who already know them. On a tree strangers can open, many people use a name and nothing else, or they wait.

Should I include a child's full birth date?

On a private tree used by parents and grandparents, a full date is often how you tell two cousins apart. On anything wider, a year is enough, and some families skip children until they can choose.

What if I already shared too much?

Remove the extra facts and the photos, then tell the person you did. A link that has already been forwarded is not fully recalled, which is why the first version should have been the smaller one.

Do I need someone's permission to include them?

Not legally for every case, and this article is not legal advice. As a courtesy, ask. For children, ask a parent. For people who have been estranged from the family, think harder about whether to include them at all.

What about my own information?

Apply the same rules to yourself. You are the easiest person to be generous with, and you are also a living person whose address, birth date, and workplace may be on the tree for anyone who can open it.

How long after death is someone no longer "living"?

There is no single rule. Some genealogy sites treat anyone born in the last 100 years as possibly living unless they know otherwise. A practical approach is to be careful with anyone whose children, spouse, or siblings are alive and might read the tree.

Should I use a public tree or a private one?

If the tree includes living relatives, private with invited collaborators is the safer default. A public tree suits long-dead ancestors, fictional families, or families who have agreed what goes on it. See the privacy models compared.

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